Are you famous on YouTube yet?

Are you famous on YouTube yet?

I have just received an automated message via YouTube’s PM system from somebody trying to sell me a product promising to make me famous. It’s not the first time these people have tried to get my attention. Basically, it’s a bot that sends out automated messages, friend requests and the like. Ha hum.

The subject line was “Are you famous on YouTube yet?” to which I can confidently answer: In a small way, actually, yes. Not one of the big names, granted, but not exactly unknown either.

Let me take you through the message itself.

As I was exploring the never ending garbage that is the common youtuber, I stumbled upon your channel. You sir are one of the few people that can make a decent, watchable video. That is why I’m letting you in on something very powerful.

Well, quite a few people write to tell me they think I am one of the few people that can make a decent, watchable video, but they at least address my by name. The really serious ones address me by my real name, but the fact that you don’t even bother to call me “rewboss” makes me doubt that you wrote this message especially for me, so when you say that you “stumbled upon my channel”, you are, in fact, lying. You did get “sir” right, but that’s an odds-on bet anyway.

Lets [sic] be honest, it’s going to take you a loooong time to become famous on youtube. And I think you deserve a little more viewers + subscribers than you currently have.

Ah, so you think my videos are wonderful, yet at the same time you doubt my ability to become famous by virtue of making wonderful video.

How would you rather have it? Would you like a much simpler legal way of getting famous automatically? Wouldn’t that be wonderful for you?

I don’t know what planet you live on, but in the real world, fame is never automatic. Infamy is.

Well then, let me encourage you to take a look at the only youtube approved program (seriously, youtube approved it) up-to-date that helps you automate all your daily stuff (eg. adding friends, subscribing people, sending out messages, sending out videos) all at a proper interval for you.

This is where it gets interesting.

First of all, you claim that your software is approved by YouTube. I think that what you mean by that is that you don’t believe (or, more accurately, don’t want us to believe) that this is against YouTube’s terms of service — more on that later — but what you imply is that YouTube has released some kind of official statement saying that your software is approved. That’s not the same thing at all. Having looked at your website, I can’t see anything that even hints at that — not even a link to a press release or anything. And there’s nothing anywhere on YouTube recommending your software.

Second, there’s this thing about “proper interval”. I think this refers to this extract from YouTube’s terms and conditions, which you quote on your own site:

You agree not to use or launch any automated system, including without limitation, “robots,” “spiders,” or “offline readers,” that accesses the Website in a manner that sends more request messages to the YouTube servers in a given period of time than a human can reasonably produce in the same period by using a conventional on-line web browser.

So you then make the case that if I keep to within the limits YouTube imposes (in order to fight exactly the kind of spam you are encouraging), I am not in breach of YouTube’s terms of service. Which is complete nonsense.

So your software is programmed to send individual messages at pre-determined intervals in order to “comply” with the rules. Except that keeping to the automatically imposed limits doesn’t mean a human could “reasonably produce” the same number of messages and requests “in the same period”. Some of us do have to eat, sleep and use the bathroom.

Also, on reading your site, I notice that many of the data you have on YouTube’s automatic limits are best guesses. Odd, considering that you are “YouTube approved”, that YouTube neglected to supply you with that data.

Of course, what you are not telling people is that the terms of service are also deemed to include the Community Guidelines, which have this to say on the subject of spam:

It’s not okay to post large amounts of untargeted, unwanted or repetitive content, including comments and private messages.

And that is exactly what your little machine does, is it not?

While we’re on the subject, if your software doesn’t violate YouTube’s rules, I have a few questions for you:

  1. Why are you PMing me from a channel that was only created yesterday? And why do you always spam message me from a different account?
  2. Why do you have to warn your users that their channels can get suspended if too many people report their messages as spam?
  3. Why do you recommend that users register secondary accounts to use your software with and not to use it from their main accounts?
  4. Why do you have to keep releasing “emergency updates” whenever YouTube tries to stay ahead of the spambot game?

Just asking.

Quite simply put, this program would solve all your misery on youtube and boost you to fame (: It won’t happen overnight as they have to comprehend to youtube’s stated interval terms, but over time (1 month+), you can expect to hit your first 3,000 subscribers :)

It may have escaped your notice (because you didn’t stumble on my channel, as we have already established), but I already have more than 3,000 subscribers.

By the way, anyone who equates “not being famous on YouTube” with “misery” really needs to get out more.

I can’t give you a ballpark figure on how many people you’d need to spam to get 3,000 of them to subscribe within a month, but I’m thinking tens of thousands, because, as the Community Guidelines point out, everybody hates spam. Unfortunately, you don’t give any kind of pricing information on your site, but I note that you do charge a monthly fee. I wonder how much it is compared to the amount of extra money I’d make.

All in all, basically, I wouldn’t touch your product with a bargepole. But thanks for your interest.